Excerpt: "AUSTIN, TX—According to a study published Monday in the Journal Of Mental Health, the paint department inside a Lowe's Home Improvement Warehouse has surpassed the shelving section of Ikea as the location most conducive to having a total psychological breakdown.
The study, which observed a cross-section of 750 average, mentally sound Americans as they shopped at a variety of retail outlets, found that the singularly chaotic qualities of a Lowe's paint aisle, combined with its overwhelming number of product choices, make it the ideal place to completely fall apart."